Майор Вихрь (zabriski) wrote,
Майор Вихрь
zabriski

из Сан-Диего в Калифорнии сообщают

*

SAN DIEGO, California -
Earlier this month, an 80-year-old, homeless, white-bearded man was found deceased under an overpass in San Diego, California. Nobody knew the man’s name, but friends referred to him as Jessie, so investigators decided to try DNA testing with hopes that something would pop up in the nationwide DNA database. What popped up on the computer screen in the high-tech lab stunned everyone. The DNA results of ‘Jessie Doe’ were an exact match to the one and only, Elvis Aaron Presley.
Lab technician Robert Brensdale said he and his lab assistant, Madeline Hedgespeth, laughed when the name popped up. “We thought somebody, somewhere, somehow in the system pulled the greatest and most elaborate prank on us ever, we both laughed with hysteria for about an hour,” Bresndale told Jerry Hardin of the Hollywood Word, a new entertainment publication based out of Los Angeles.
Brensdale and Hedgespeth then went to their superior with laughter, as if he were the one behind this “prank”. They were told to simmer down and stay quiet, that this was no laughing matter. From there, the results went up the ladder to the FBI and CIA.
Now, weeks later, FBI spokesperson Philip Hunter has revealed that the deceased man’s body was actually the body of Elvis Presley, who had been in the witness protection program since 1977.
“Mr. Presley was placed in the program under a voluntary basis. He was not a witness to any crime or anything like that. Once he had met President Nixon, the two became great friends, and Mr. Presley wanted out of his life, he wanted to be an unknown, so President Nixon made this possible. Yes, it is official – Elvis Presley was really alive all that time, and only a handful of people knew it, most of which are no longer with us.

В двух словах: ранее в этом месяце стало известно о смерти некоего бомжа, которого для порядка прокатали на ДНК, чтобы глухаря не было.

ДНК совпало с ДНК Элвиса Пресли.

Позже выяснилось, что тот, по личной просьбе и по дружбе с президентом, в 1977 году пошёл по программе защиты свидетелей, поскольку хотел начать новую жизнь, и иначе, как с помощью соответствующих служб, сделать этого было нельзя. Он не был никаким свидетелем, но не видел иного способа уйти из прошлой жизни. Никсон помог ему стать неизвестным невидимкой. Об этом знало ограниченное количество людей, большинства из которых сегодня уже нет в живых.

Как метко заметил один из читателей, дада, Элвис для того и хотел исчезнуть с радаров массовой культуры, чтобы через много лет стать бомжом и умереть в нищете и неизвестности.

Но чего на свете не бывает. :)

Tags: история, мелодии и ритмы, персоны, эвона как
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